HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
