i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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