Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
