if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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