I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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