i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
All the doctor said was why
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
