I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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