What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
