So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
