I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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