my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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