Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Someone shit on the floor
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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