I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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