She said her name was "party"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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