Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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