so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
