Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
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do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
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Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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