I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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