Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
