If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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