Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
