So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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