You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
