Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
