you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm passing your future prison.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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