guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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