I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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