I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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