please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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