Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
