Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
