sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize