I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
operation harelip BJ is a go
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
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You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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