we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
People in love make me want to vomit
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
