Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I party with great urgency now.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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