would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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