if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
