I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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