i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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