I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
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Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Shame is for Republicans.
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