Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i out mim tonsoeep
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