At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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