After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm just crazy horny about you
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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