The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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