she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
