Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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