I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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