So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
