I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
