Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
