Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
