Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
