Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
