that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
