I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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