is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So many bounce houses so little time
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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